Arty Zen Meditation

While in Columbus last month, I met a fellow artist who was mad about Zentangle. I don't understand it enough to write much, but what I do understand is that it combines art/drawing and meditation. It makes perfect sense to me. Whenever I have pressing matters on the brain, I put some great vinyl on the record player and paint. It clears my head and calms me in a way that nothing else can.

I decided to try zentangle. I didn't take a class. Honestly, I just watched a few minutes of an instructional video and then tried to create something. I like to just jump in. It was both fun and relaxing. I'm definitely interested in learning more. These are my first two.

2012 Reading Goal - Books 1-26

Last year, my goal was to read 26 books. Two books a week sounded like a lot, but once I got started, it was a lot of fun. I also ended up reading 36 great books.

In my typical overachiever mentality, I wanted to do better this year, so I bumped my goal up to 52 books . Whenever I mention it, people look at me like I am crazy (except for my family members who are equally crazy).  It is only April, and I'm 26 books in. I'll be golden. Here's a rundown of what I've read so far this year.

1: Codependent No More and 2: If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules

Sometimes, I wish that I had studied psychology in college. It's not that I wouldn't want to be a writer, but I find human emotions and motivations fascinating. Reading books like this gives me a glimpse into one of my alternative realities.


3: Talking to Girls About Duran Duran

Rob Sheffield is funny and  has great taste in music. This is a memoir set in the 80's to a most bodacious soundtrack (each chapter is a memory based on a song). I enjoyed the format and would love to read one for the 90's too.


4: The Book of Joe

Apparently, despite the similarity, this book wasn't the inspiration for Beautiful Girls or October Road. I seriously love that movie (Happy piano players work the circus...) and the show. Anyway, the stories are remarkably similar and enjoyable. I loved this book. It was both hysterical and heartbreaking, which is exactly the kind of bipolar novel that I love.


5: Before & After: How to Design Cool Stuff

I subscribe to Before & After magazine. It is a a level of design awesomeness that I aspire to, and I always find the articles inspiring. I have McWade's other books, so a lot of this book was a repeat of the articles and books that I already have. The book was still packed with useful information. However, I bought the Kindle version and was surprised to find that it wasn't formatted very well...  I wish they would fix that.


6: Little House on the Prairie, 7: Farmer Boy, 8: On the Banks of Plum Creek, 9: By the Shores of Silver Lake, 13: The Long Winter, 14: Little Town on the Prairie, 15: These Happy Golden Years, and 16: The First Four Years

Confession time. I love Little House on the Prairie. I loved the show and have always had a crush on Michael Landon as Charles Ingalls (what a man!). It still amazes me that these are the stories of real people and are probably typical of many of the first American settlers. I love the adventure of the time period and was totally consumed with the whole series. My favorite book was These Happy Golden Years because it focuses on Laura and Almanzo falling in love. Ahhh sigh.

10: Socs and Greasers

Rob Lowe and The Outsiders. Two of my favorite subjects in the world.

11: Beastly

I enjoyed both the movie and book version of Beastly. It is an interesting, modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast that really worked. It was a fun, light read at lunchtime.



12: The Help

Everyone I know who read the book first disliked the movie. For once, I watched the movie first and ended up loving both the movie and the book. I would suggest you go that route too. The book is both funny and shocking. It makes you think, which is pretty rare for anything making the book club rounds these days.


17:  The Creative Writer's Survival Guide: Advice from an Unrepentant Novelist

I was lucky enough to have John McNally as a writing professor in college. He always had good advice, was fair in his critiques, and gave great advice. His book reminded me so much of being in his workshop class, reminded me of old friends (Jonas), and filled my head with good advice. It also made me rethink panning a book (or anything really) too quickly on my blog.

18: The Hunger Games

Ok, yes, I read this book again. My sister was reading it, and I wanted to read it along with her. I was also about to go see the movie (enjoyed it). After a second read, I still love this book. It is accessible to many readers, but it still is able to make a lasting point. I respect that in any writing.


19: The Chosen and 20: The Diary of a Young Girl

These books did something magical for me because they made me think about the past and sprouted an interest in my grandparent's lives (Family History). I have always been interested in their lives, but after reading both of these, it made me ask questions and wonder about things in a totally different way. In addition, it pushed me to learn more about the Holocaust, which is a important to never forget about. They taught me about things that I didn't even know that I should be asking about.

21: Tex and 25: Taming the Star Runner

S.E. Hinton is one of my favorite writers. Her books are straightforward and simple enough for anyone to read, yet she is able to pack them with characters, situations, and emotions that are so vivid and wonderful that you can't help but be sucked into their world. I've written about her before (No Jazz Before The Rumble) and feel that both of these novels hold their own. They make me want to run away to Oklahoma to ride horses and hang out with the cowboys.

22: What Do You Want to Do Before You Die?

I love the guys from The Buried Life. They are silly and a bit crazy, but they do some pretty awesome things. I had to have this book. Canadian boys seem so lovely, I think that I need to run away to Canada too.



23: Franny and Zooey

I enjoy Salinger's writer because he knows how to capture a character on a page and make them feel so real in my mind.  I've read Catcher in the Rye more times than I care to count (It's history. It's poetry.), and Holden Caulfield is like an old friend (granted a nutty one). I haven't read much of his other work, so that's one of my current goals. I want to get acquainted with the Glass family.


24: Cat's Cradle: A Novel

This was my first Vonnegut novel. I was always worried that he was too weird. This book was totally weird, but it was also hysterical and poignant. At first, I was lost and confused. I wanted to give up on it, but I am so glad that I didn't. Now that I know that Slaughterer Five isn't about working with dead animal carcasses, it will be my next Vonnegut novel.


26: Burning Bright

I appreciate the way that Steinbeck saw the world. He loved his characters and his readers. After reading one of this novels, I  feel like I have been transported to their world. I feel like I have lived their life. I read The Winter of Our Discontent  when I was 15, and I have carried Ethan Allen Hawley with me ever since. This one wasn't quite as powerful, but I still enjoyed it.

If you want to follow along with my reading, follow me on shelfari (awdylanis). Also, if you have any book recommendations, add them to the comments below. I'm always looking for interesting books to read.

Family History

A few weeks ago, I read The Chosen (Chaim Potok) and The Diary of a Young Girl (Anne Frank). I enjoyed both, but they haunted me for days afterwards. I thought about both stories and did a lot of research about the war. I learned about the World War II in school, but I don't remember taking the time to really think about it.  I am embarrassed to admit how much I didn't (and still don't) know or understand.

In particular, I was disturbed by the Holocaust. I considered how I would react if I saw those same things going on around me. I want to believe that I am the kind of person who, when faced with something so horrible, would stand up and do what I needed to do to protect the people around me. I want to be that brave.

I wondered about the people who were brave enough to stand up and do something. It made me think about my Grandfather.

He was the most kind and gentle man I've ever know. He was soft-spoken and introverted, but when he laughed, he was super silly and his blue eyes would light-up. We spent summers building rock gardens together. He hung a swing for me from the tree in the back yard. We ate peanut butter and butter sandwiches, and I tagged along after him wherever he went.

My Grandpa fought in World War II. Three of his brothers fought also. He was born in Canada while his family immigrated from Scotland, so he became a US citizen in Algeria on his way to war. He was a gunner and a paratrooper. His record say he fired a grenade laucher. While in Anzio, he was taken prisoner and spent nearly 15 months in a German prisoner of war camp (Stalag VII B). He rarely spoke of it, and no one ever asked him about it.

Growing up, I would beg my Grandma to show me old photos. She always showed me photos of him in his uniform. She was so proud of him, so even without fully understanding, I was inherently proud of him too.

I think of my Grandmother too. She was only 17 when they were married, and then he was gone overseas. She worked in a factory and took care of everything at home. She lived for over a year not knowing his fate.

I realize that in 1940's America, this was the norm, but I still can't seem to fully wrap my mind around all of it. I don't want people to forget what happened to them (and so many others), and I really hope that we don't ever have to go through anything like that ever again.

For my family, I am researching and writing down our family history. I'm working on our family tree, scanning photographs, and connecting with long-lost relatives in hopes of collecting stories, photos, and memories. I'm interviewing my family and writing it all down, so it won't all end up forgotten.

Jonas

I enjoy memories. Lots of things trigger memories for me, but nothing is more of a powerful reminder than a song. Songs allow me to travel back in time and remember people and experiences with staggering, emotional detail. I’ve written about this before (“Whenever I hear your heart talking, it’s a song…” and  Songs for learning and performing...), but I always think it is important to write about it when it happens.

Early this week, I finished The Creative Writer's Survival Guide: Advice from an Unrepentant Novelist, a book about writing, which was written by my favorite writing professor from college, John McNally (It was really good!). It made me miss my writing workshops in college and my writing friends. There is a special bond between writers in a workshop. No matter how much protection the teacher provides, it is difficult to write a story, which you pour your heart into, and then hand it over to a group of people for critique. It is a scary process, but you learn to trust the people around you, and you grow as a writer and become more confident in your skills. I made a couple of amazing friends in the process. It is definitely an experience that makes people close. I haven’t found another group like that since, and I really miss it.

When I heard My Name is Jonas on Lithium, I was already reminiscing about college and workshopping, but it zeroed me in on a very special semester I spent hanging out with my friend Tom.

I met him in my second semester of college in my first writing class. He stood up the first day of class and explained (or complained) about how much Tampa sucks. He was opinionated and completely snarky. I liked him immediately.

A few years later in a semester between our workshops, we both ended up in this crazy exit requirement course about consumerism and advertising. It was an interesting class, but the other kids in the class were beyond ridiculous. In particular, one guy had spent a summer living with the Amish, and he mentioned it whenever possible (like every five minutes). He was particularly excited about Amish eggs. Tom and I sat together in the back of the class. Whenever the Amish kid's arm shot up, Tom and I would roll our eyes at each other. It would have made a phenomenal drinking game.  We were almost kicked out of class multiple times for our fits of laughter, which usually followed an Amish egg comment.

Each day after class, we’d hang out for hours outside of Cooper Hall. There was a paved parking area for golf carts near this big field where we’d sit on the curb. We laughed about class and everything else. Typically in other semesters, we were always surrounded by all of our writer friends from our workshops, so it was one of the first times we hung out alone. We had always connected and liked each other, but without anyone else around, we grew closer quickly. Our conversations were easy, and we spent those hours together laughing. I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed so much with anyone else and still feel a happy weight in my heart when I think about it.

For fun, we would people watch and add commentary. We tried to one-up each other in an effort to get the other one to laugh harder. Maybe it was something with being writers, but it was hysterical and fun. One afternoon, a painfully nerdy guy walked past us. I think he was wearing a cloak. I looked at Tom, and completely calm, he turned to me and said, “His name is Jonas.” It was so simple, but so completely perfect. We both laughed. He definitely won that day.

I hope that wherever Tom is now, he remembers that day and it makes him laugh too. I loved those afternoons. My Name is Jonas always makes me laugh and think of him.


 

Literal Safety Dance

This is the ultimate killer of bad days.

Why I Became a Vegetarian

I became a vegetarian a year ago. Normally, I avoid mentioning it because of the way that people react. Some get defensive. Some get apologetic. Some are curious. Some worry far too much about offending me. I’m not writing this to convert you. I’m writing this because a lot of people have asked me questions about why I changed, and I wanted to explain how I got here.

I never really liked to eat meat. It always sat like a lump in my stomach and made me uncomfortable and sluggish. I’ve always been a macaroni & cheese, vegetable, and candy (we all like something bad) kind of girl. Even more, I have always hated cooking meat. Handling raw meat made me sick to my stomach and killed my appetite. That was probably a clue.

In the year before my decision, I developed high blood pressure. It was so frustrating because I felt like I ate pretty healthy. I started exercising, eating natural, unprocessed foods (ditched anything with HFCS), took vitamins, and worked on my stress level. Nothing seemed to make a big difference in my numbers.

Last March, I watched a Morgan Spurlock documentary about a man living in a Muslim community in Michigan. One segment showed a lamb being slaughtered. I still feel sick thinking about it. The lamb was hung upside down. It cried out, struggled, and fought off his death. I hadn’t ever thought about how aware an animal was in that situation. At that moment, I was certain that I would never be able to kill an animal. I knew that I would feel like a hypocrite eating an animal that I would never have the guts to kill.

The more I thought about it, I was haunted by that image of the animal writhing. I thought about all of the studies that I’ve read about how our bodies change and are flooded with hormones in stressful situations. Does the same thing happen in animals? I don’t know, and if so, is it healthy for us to be eating all of that? Seeing that video had changed me.

I did a lot of research about nutrition and was able to find plenty of foods that would fulfill my nutrition requirements and keep my body healthy. I still eat eggs and a few milk products, but mostly, I eat vegetables, beans, grains, and tofu. I have discovered a new love and interest in cooking. I’ve been thinking about sharing some of my kitchen/meal triumphs here on the blog.

I admit that sometimes, it can be difficult to eat out or at other people’s houses, but it just requires that I plan a little better and communicate with people.

In all of this, the only thing that I really miss is marshmallows and jello.

This feels like the right thing for me, and my body seems to agree too. It’s a year in and my blood pressure have gone down dramatically (almost off the blood pressure medication), my grocery bills are dramatically lower, I have less of impact on the environment, I am eating better than I have ever eaten before, and I feel great. I haven't had a day where I regretted my decision or thought about going back.

Henry Rollins

I grew up in the mid-90's. When I think of Henry Rollins then, I think of angry MTV commercials, that red devil paint he wore in the Liar video, my awesome Liar shirt, and the Christmas that my Mom refused to buy me one of his books because it was inappropriate (granted, I was 16 and she typically would buy me any book, so it probably was inappropriate). He was always interesting.  His book was full of f-bombs and anger, and he just always looked so tough, unsmiling, and intense.

In the last few years (and just the other night at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater), I've been to a few of his shows. He still looks tough and intimidating, but once he speaks, something about his demeanor changes. He is genuine, intelligent, funny, and extremely kind. His energy, excitement, and personal investment on stage is unsurpassed. He typical speaks for 2+ hours about everything from his travels (the places he's been is beyond amazing), memories of Black Flag, growing up in DC, politics, emotions, his insecurities, the amazing people he's met, etc. You can always tell that he genuinely enjoys being at the show. He never takes a break or a sip of water, appearing as if he doesn't want to waste a second of time.  He connects with the audience and gives his all to entertain and inform based on his experiences.  

I am impressed with his ability to speak openly about his opinions without trying to offend anyone or denying his own voice. It is a quality that I strive for but find very difficult to learn. It is nice seeing it work so successfully. 

I left the latest show feeling hopeful, motivated, and full of possibility. It sounds a little hokey, but I realized that we all have a chance because we're all filled with good, human, honest emotions and we just need to learn how to channel it in positive ways.  It was a night discussing tolerance, laughing, and sharing insights. It proves to me that strength and change does not come from brute force; it comes from knowledge, open minds, and honest conversations.

But damn, I still wish that I had kept that badass Liar shirt I had back in the 90's. Also, just cause you know you want to watch it now...