Desperately Seeking David Bowie

A few weeks ago, the after-lunch-and-avoiding-our-desk conversation at work was centered on some of the guys brainstorming where I could meet a nice, cool guy. Their top suggestion was to hang out at coding camps. Umm, thanks, but no. It was an amusing conversation. I spent far too long complaining about what a raw deal it is to be nearing 30 and still single. However, I’ve changed my mind. Going forward, I’m Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving, even if I am more 30 going on 13

I decided that life would be so much easier if I could just supply my checklist to someone, a matchmaker perhaps, and they could search a database or put me in a big room of eligible men that I could peruse. For fun, I created a checklist:

• Crazy style of David Bowie 
• Kick ass musical tastes like Brandon Flowers 
• Super cool and intelligent like Pete Townshend 
• Sexual perverse like Billy Idol 
• Silly and goofy like Xander Harris, Ducky Dale, or Jason Segel 
• Sweet like of Lloyd Dobler 
• Sexy like Aidan Quinn in Desperately Seeking Susan 

I created the most bizarre list ever. Seeing the items stack up together, I feared that I might have designed a serial killer. You can’t piece together a person. People are a balance of traits, both good and bad, that define who they are. And honestly, as much as I love Lloyd Dobler, I realize that outside of the universe of Say Anything, he would be that totally annoying stalker that doesn’t know how to take a hint.

I thought about the guys that I loved. They weren’t any of those things on the list. The ones that really mattered had something special that can’t be added to a checklist.

There was the boy in high school. We’d sneak to talk on the phone at 3am. Maybe it was how tired we were, but he laughed at my doornail joke for an hour. We never ran out of things to talk about.

There was the guy who’s kiss was so electrically charged with emotions that I still gauge all kisses on his.

There was the sweetie who knew it was my most nervous day ever and despite the fact that we were upset with each other, he told me that he always had my back. Honestly, he always did.

They weren’t the guys that were so perfect, saying and doing all the right things at the right times. They were the real ones who challenged me to be a better person, yet accepted me for who I am. It sounds weird, but I get it.I realize that there isn’t a perfect list. I need to exercise a little patience and remember that good things are worth it.